Twist.. ;)

A married man, named James, was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shaves his beard.

"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really loves to see your handsome face."

James replied," My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!"

"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice.

"Oh, really, I can't," he replies " My wife loves this beard!"

The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in.

That night James crawls into bed while his wife is sleeping.

The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and say,

"Tom, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

STUPIDITY....!!!

Old movie. New watch? Watch it out!  ?  You need to hold the trigger to shoot someone or...?        Hmmm..... aero planes in the Trojan War?      Bows, arrows, ... and cellphones in the olden days?                                        N here comes I hope everyone's fav......... ..  .  Wow! In those days,... Adidas? Hmmm.... branded Pirate!  but not as stupid as......     OR THIS ????????  No comments .........:P

DOG EXPERIMENT

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.
1.For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told   the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. 

2.For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.


3.For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off. 

Facebook Addiction..... this is hilarious !!!!!!

If you are on Facebook, I am sure you will find this hilarious                                                                                                                                      The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)." It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering,"I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows." A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him. "Don't worry. It'll be all right." "I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like' button." "How long has it been?" "Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world." The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor. "Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started." "Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book." "How soon were you hooked?" "Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced." "What do you like most about Facebook?" "It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya." "Who's he?" "I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous." "Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see." "Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them." "Let me guess. Farmville?" "No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna." "Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?" "No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. " "What pic are you using?" "Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon." "To make yourself look prettier?" "No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using." "Didn't your friends notice that you look different?" "Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga.""When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?" "I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'""What did you do?" "What else? I unfriended him of course!"

FOR SALE NOT FOR SALE

An art collector is walking through a big pet store where he notices a dirty bad looking cat licking greedily the milk from a dish in the doorway of a store. He takes a very close look at the scene and he notices that the dish is extremely old and very valuable. He walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale." The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat.And the owner says "Sold," and passes over the cat to the collector. "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old dish. This cat is used to it and it will save me having to get another dish." And the owner says, "Sorry my friend, but that's my lucky dish. So far this week I've sold seventy cheap cats for very high price."

The Evolution Of Man And Woman

Hundred Dollar Story

An Indian tourist walks into a curio shoop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotic, he notices a very lifelike, Life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, But is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "Twelve dollars for the rat, one hundred dollars for the Story,"says the owner. The tourist gives the man twelve dollars. "I'll just take the rat,you can keep the story."   As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat, He notices that a few real rats crawl out of the alleys and sewers and begin following him down the street. This is disconcerting; he begins walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the herd of rats behind him grows to hundreds, and they begin squealing.   He begins to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and are still Squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.   Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of the Bay throws the bronze rat into the Bay. Amazingly, all rats jump into the Bay and drown.  The man walks back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," says the owner, "You have come back for the Story?" * *scroll   below  for  answer  * * "No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a statue of an Indian politician in bronze!!